Childish

Sometimes after I have spent time in scripture, I wished I hadn't. It always seems to seek out my biggest weakness and cuts me deep to the heart. I guess that is the whole reason I study. I need to be cut, shaped, twisted, molded... Whatever word you would like to use.

I started in James yesterday and made it to 1:5 this morning. It says that if we lack wisdom, we should ask God and he will provide. Simple enough. All I need to do is ask. Should have stopped reading there.

v6-8 - "But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will recieve anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does".

So let me get this straight. I also need to have my attitude in line when I ask God for something, and then believe that he will provide what's best for me. I can't whine and pout when I don't get exactly everything I have asked for. I often attribute to God major character flaws that I know couldn't possibly exist in Him. I accuse Him of doing things in my life because he gets a kick out of causing me pain and misery. Kinda childish isn't it.

The truth is that through perseverence comes maturity. (yesterday's lesson) So I guess I will try to move toward being a more mature Christian by expecting God to give me the things I need realizing they won't always be exactly what I thought I wanted.

Lord, Grant me wisdom.
Lord, Give me courage.
Lord, Give me what I need.